SAFspace

Welcome to the thoughts, rants and passions of a young Muslim woman seeking soulful enlightenment in cyberspace.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Mama's Apron Strings


Last night I was speaking with a very dear friend (who is both married and experienced) when she made an astute observation:

“It is so true what they say. How a guy treats his mother affects him as a hubby.”

“But I’ve seen some men who worship their mothers but disrespect their wives,” I protested.

“Eww, stay away from those mama’s boys! You should be able to tell the difference between slaves of mama, and treating mama with love and respect.”

She said this with a straight face, but I ruined the moment by giggling uncontrollably. If I didn’t love her already, that final and very blunt piece of advice would've been the tipping point.

7 Comments:

  • At 2/28/2005 08:20:00 AM, Blogger Lyvvie said…

    It's a huge "Old Wive's Tale" about to see how a man will treat you as a wife, just see how he treats his mother...a mother/ son bond is not the same as a wife and husband bond (Thank God...Eww!) But..watch how his father treats his wife/mother, because that is who your man will model his behaviour after.

    Other excellent advice I can offer from personal experience is; Don't date men whose parents were divorced - they carry way too much emotional baggage to be a supportive partner. Or if you're of sufficient age, don't date men who have been divorced...same reason.

    They are great to have fun with, but not to set up home with.

     
  • At 2/28/2005 05:12:00 PM, Blogger Safiyyah said…

    Lyvvie,

    I agree. The mother-wife relationship is completely different from the husband-wife relationship. But how a man treats others, especially those in his immediate household, is a good indicator of how he'll treat his wife. And family circumstances play into it too.

    Of course, all of these are generalizations and I think one cannot just write off someone because their parents are divorced or they're in some category labelled "Less Likely To Have Successful Marriage". Otherwise there would be plenty of men with no chance of being in a relationship, and plenty of very unhappy women too! ;)

     
  • At 2/28/2005 09:22:00 PM, Blogger Salacious Samosa said…

    THis is very depressing....

     
  • At 3/02/2005 05:59:00 AM, Blogger cncz said…

    I think it depends on the person when it comes to divorced parents...both mine and my husband's parents are divorced and it has made us more convinced to make our marriage work. Also, for a ha ha, I can't STAND those mama's boys who get married and then him and his mom gang up on his wife to be their personal servant. Poor women!
    Salam and thanks for your comment on my blog!

     
  • At 3/02/2005 05:59:00 AM, Blogger cncz said…

    I think it depends on the person when it comes to divorced parents...both mine and my husband's parents are divorced and it has made us more convinced to make our marriage work. Also, for a ha ha, I can't STAND those mama's boys who get married and then him and his mom gang up on his wife to be their personal servant. Poor women!
    Salam and thanks for your comment on my blog!

     
  • At 3/02/2005 06:00:00 AM, Blogger cncz said…

    I think it depends on the person when it comes to divorced parents...both mine and my husband's parents are divorced and it has made us more convinced to make our marriage work. Also, for a ha ha, I can't STAND those mama's boys who get married and then him and his mom gang up on his wife to be their personal servant. Poor women!
    Salam and thanks for your comment on my blog!

     
  • At 3/02/2005 11:32:00 PM, Blogger Safiyyah said…

    cncz,

    I can't understand what power their mothers have over them. They take 'paradise lies below the feet of your mother' to a whole new level:-)

    I think we should ban daughter-in-law slavery in some cultures too. A friend of mine admitted she's terrified of her soon-to-be mother-in-law. It's ridiculous!

     

Post a Comment

<< Home